Are discipline and punishment the same thing? People often use the terms đồ sộ mean the same thing. But discipline and punishment are different. Both teach kids đồ sộ follow rules, but only one teaches kids how đồ sộ correct their misbehavior.
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Punishment aims đồ sộ stop the behavior
Punishment is a size of negative discipline. It’s often used đồ sộ get rid of or over a behavior.
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When kids push your buttons or disobey rules, you may be quick đồ sộ give them a consequence that’s going đồ sộ make them unhappy enough đồ sộ stop what they’re doing. It’s a common response when you feel frustrated, angry, or just plain fed up. But it’s not likely đồ sộ change kids’ behavior in the long term.
Positive discipline aims đồ sộ correct the behavior
Positive discipline discourages misbehavior. But it also teaches kids expectations and accountability. It helps kids see that there’s a connection between what they tự and what happens next — the natural and logical consequences.
These are sometimes called corrective consequences. They help kids learn đồ sộ correct their behavior. This kind of positive guidance works just as quickly as punishment. And it can be more effective kêu ca punishment.
Punishment versus discipline
Consider this scenario: Sandra and Javier have been arguing over colored pencils all afternoon. One of them pushes the other, and they both start yelling. You might say, “Both of you, stop it! You’re not allowed đồ sộ go outside today!”
That’s punishment. It may stop the behavior in the moment, but it’s not going đồ sộ teach Sandra and Javier the skills they need the next time they argue.
When you use positive discipline, you might say, “Give má the colored pencils. Neither of you can use them right now. Sandra, take a deep breath. Now use the ‘I statements’ we practiced yesterday đồ sộ tell Javier why you’re upset.” With positive discipline, you’ve taught Sandra and Javier how đồ sộ respond next time — and any time a disagreement comes up.
Use this comparison chart đồ sộ learn more about punishment versus discipline.
Positive discipline/corrective consequence
What it is
• A penalty for doing something wrong. It tries đồ sộ change kids’ future behavior by making them “pay for their mistakes”
• A reactive approach that handles the situation in the moment
• A logical or natural consequence for wrongdoing. It aims đồ sộ change future behavior by helping kids learn from their mistakes
• A proactive approach that handles the situation in the moment and teaches skills for the future
• Puts adults in control of kids’ behavior and for deciding the outcome of their decisions
• Puts kids in control of their behavior and decisions by teaching new skills, such as self-control and self-regulation
Assumptions and guidance
• Assumes that behavior is only about doing something “bad” or “wrong”
• Provides little help figuring out how đồ sộ behave differently in the future
• Assumes that behavior is a size of communication
• Provides help in learning how đồ sộ behave differently in the future
Types of consequences
• Negative consequences aren’t directly tied đồ sộ what happened, such as:
• Taking away privileges or possessions
• Making kids tự an unpleasant task
• Adding more responsibilities or work
• In some homes, corporal punishment (Research shows that corporal punishment can increase aggression and other negative behavior.)
• Corrective consequences meet the “three R’s”:
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Related đồ sộ the problem
Resulting from the behavior or action
• There are two types of corrective consequences:
Natural consequences are the unavoidable and inevitable result of an action.
Logical consequences are also related đồ sộ the action. But they’re given out when you intervene because the action could result in someone getting hurt or harmed.
Examples of consequences
• Sandra was chatting with her friend during silent reading time, so sánh the teacher makes her stay inside for recess.
• Javier skateboarded in the road after he was told not đồ sộ. His mom tells him he has đồ sộ tự his brother’s chores for a week in addition đồ sộ his own.
• Sandra was chatting with her friend during silent reading time, so sánh now she’s behind in her book. Her mom points out that she will have đồ sộ miss her favorite TV show at home page because she has đồ sộ read for longer kêu ca usual.
• Javier skateboarded in the road after he was told not đồ sộ. Her mom points out that since he made the choice đồ sộ not follow the rules, he isn’t allowed đồ sộ use his skateboard for the rest of the week.
What kids learn from this
The message is: “You need đồ sộ stop doing that; it’s wrong.” Kids learn:
• Their behavior needs đồ sộ be managed by you.
• They need đồ sộ be careful not đồ sộ get caught if they want đồ sộ avoid dealing with the consequences.
The message is: “Here’s what you can or should tự instead.” Kids learn:
• They can manage their own behavior through self-control.
• They need đồ sộ make changes đồ sộ their behavior if they want đồ sộ avoid dealing with the consequences.
• Negative self-esteem
• Increased power struggles
• Fear and resentment between you
• Lowered academic achievement
• Positive self-esteem
• Decreased power struggles
• Better relationships between you
• Increased academic achievement
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You may not always respond đồ sộ behavior as well as you’d lượt thích đồ sộ, especially in stressful moments. But you can always make changes. These resources can help:
About the author
About the author
Amanda Morin is the author of “The Everything Parent’s Guide đồ sộ Special Education” and the former director of thought leadership at Understood. As an expert and writer, she helped build Understood from its earliest days.
Kristin J. Carothers, PhD is a clinical child psychologist devoted đồ sộ the destigmatization of mental health problems.